I always see these “mustache disguise” kits in stores, and I really want one but can’t seem to convince myself to shell out $8 for single-use mustaches. And so I bring you, the downloadable MUSTACHE KIT! It comes in brown as well as blank, in case you want a blonde/red/purple/etc set of facial hair. Click on the links to go to the PDF pages for each:
As always, please don’t reproduce these or share them without linking back here and citing me, M. Rock. This is one of my more brilliant ideas (and I have so few) so I’d like credit for it. 
–m
The “show down on the southern border” also looks very much like the ever-popular “Teddy Roosevelt”, whose mustache I have always coveted.